Lady Gaga and Madonna: Express Yourself, Alejandro

I finally watched Lady Gaga's "Alejandro." Here's the link if you haven't seen it but, as usual, I wouldn't watch it at work. I also wouldn't watch it if you are a busy and important person with little free time (and if you are, what're you doing here?) because it's eight minutes and forty three seconds long. That is long folks, and you have no idea how long until you realize that you've seen the same dude in fishnet tights three separate times by minute six.

The thing you realize by minute four is that this video is basically Madonna's "Express Yourself" with the addition of men in high heels and a strobe light effect that borders on seizure-inducing. Now, I understand that it is totally irrelevant to point out similarities between any current pop star and Madonna because Madonna inspires everyone and she did many, many things first. However, this is my blog, and I want to compare "Alejandro" and "Express Yourself," so follow the jump if you're game.

**Brief Side Note: I'm leaving the religious stuff alone since it doesn't fit in with the theme of this post. Lady Gaga is pissing off the Catholic church in 2010 by doing basically the same thing that Madonna did with her "Blond Ambition" tour in 1990 and again during her "Confessions" tour in 2006. It's no longer worth discussing. Just as Katy Perry pointed out via twitter, it's too obvious and too done.**

So the basic premise of each video is as follows

There is a lady who is in charge of something and has a certain quirk. In Madonna's case, she runs a factory and loves her cat. In Lady Gaga's case, she runs a military operation and is a lunatic. Or has conjunctivitis. It's definitely one of the two.

And even though this quirky lady is in charge, she has a sort of henchman. And this henchman kind of runs things to make sure everything is orderly, you know, because quirky lady can't always be supervising her factory/army because sometimes she is pretending to be her cat (Madonna) or needs rest for a bit and practice swallowing her rosary (Lady Gaga.) So it's pretty handy to have this henchperson when you think about it.

And usually this henchperson does a really good job, you know? The workers/soldiers do a lot of push-ups.

And they dance in the rain/snow, obviously.

And the quirky lady watches from her upstairs apartment/throne room, and sometimes she is so happy with the state of her factory/army that she must dance.

And the dancing must be done in a black suit because that's what you do when things are going really well for your factory/army. But there's a problem. You see, sometimes your dancing works them into a frenzy...

And then the men fight because there is but one quirky lady in a sea of masculinity, and they all want her. The henchperson cannot control everyone and so there is chaos. So the quirky lady steps in and shoots everyone with her machine gun/whipped cream can breasts.

Wait, what? Katy Perry, what're you doing here? I just discussed you yesterday. It's Lady Gaga's turn now, I'm afraid.

So of course the quirky lady doesn't shoot everyone; that would be silly. She uhhh, she...

...chains herself to the bed in protest of the poor working conditions in her factory/army? Yes. Yes, that's it.

This is starting to get a little weird. I'm not quite sure how we're going to wrap everything up here. There are some complex problems involving male/female gender roles, the power struggle between working class and their managers, the prominent place that violence and war have maintained in our society for decades. Surely these two socially-aware, forward-thinking, intellectual women will wrap this up in a way that is artistically relevant.

Or they will get naked. That also works. I'm sure it's just some kind of metaphor for shedding the burden of social obligation or peeling away the layers of one's own ignorant world view to reveal a newly enlightened self. Yes. Yes indeed.